Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
