She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
