You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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