I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
