Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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