Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
