billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
