she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
please don't ironically join a cult
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