they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She bit a glass in half.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize