You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
