I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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