and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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