I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
