I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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