ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
