i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
