You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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