He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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