I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
