i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
