i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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