she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
