He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize