We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
