I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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