BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
