Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
