she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
