And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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