he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
