But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
