And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
