my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize