seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm getting married
To pizza
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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