I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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