I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
