I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
