Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
