The best revenge is premature balding
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize