On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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