My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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