i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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