Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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