I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
