Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't think brook has ever known best
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
