If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
