My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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