I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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