She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you never un-have a 4some
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
