so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well I just put wine in my tea
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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