There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
