This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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