just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
