she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
