Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
