the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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