That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think i have two assholes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
