Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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