i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
