if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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