this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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