i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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