Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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