weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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