Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
