Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
