I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
