I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
