Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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