So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
