You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I did not marry a roomba.
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