Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
