My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
