Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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