we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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