I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
